The MC hands over the microphone, the hall goes quiet, and three hundred people look at the groom. For many men, those few minutes are the most nerve-racking part of the wedding. The good news is that guests are on your side. They want a short, warm speech, not a stand-up routine.
Keep it short
Aim for three to five minutes. Long speeches lose a crowd, especially after a long programme. If you write it down and it runs past two pages, cut it.
Start with thanks
Begin by thanking guests for coming, especially those who travelled. Then thank both sets of parents. In Ghanaian and Nigerian weddings, thank the families by name or by role: the bride’s parents for raising her and welcoming you, your own parents for their support. Thank the officiant, the bridal party and anyone who helped organise the day.
Talk about your wife
The heart of the speech is your bride. Tell a short story about when you met, when you knew she was the one or something she does that guests may not know. Specific details work better than general praise. “She laughs at my jokes even when they are bad” is better than “She is wonderful.”
Humour, carefully
A light joke helps, but avoid embarrassing stories, insults or anything about ex-partners. Remember that elders, pastors and children are listening. If you are unsure whether a joke is acceptable, leave it out.
Acknowledge those absent
If a parent or close relative has died, a brief mention can be meaningful. Keep it short and gentle, so the speech does not become a funeral tribute.
End with a toast
Close by inviting guests to raise their glasses to your bride, or to love and marriage. Many Ghanaian Christian weddings use a non-alcoholic toast, so make the toast suit the event.
Practise
Practise out loud at least three times, ideally in front of a friend. You will find the awkward sentences and get used to the length. Use cards with key points rather than reading a full script word for word.
Speak slowly
Nerves make people speak fast. Slow down, pause after jokes and look up at the guests. Hold the microphone close.
Guests rarely remember the exact words of a groom’s speech. They remember whether he looked at his wife while he spoke. Write it for her, and the rest will follow.
