At a Western wedding, the best man’s speech is often a roast. At a Ghanaian or Nigerian wedding, with pastors, chiefs, aunties and grandparents in the front row, a roast can go badly wrong.
Keep it short
Three to five minutes is enough. The reception programme is usually long, and the MC will be watching the time. Guests remember short, warm speeches.
Know your audience
Remember who is listening: the couple’s parents, elders, church leaders and children. Avoid crude jokes, drinking stories and anything that would embarrass the groom in front of his in-laws. Never mention ex-partners.
Start with who you are
Introduce yourself and how you know the groom: “I am Kofi, and I have known Kwame since our first week at Prempeh College.” Then thank the families and the guests.
Tell one good story
Choose one story that shows the groom’s character: kindness, loyalty, determination. A short, specific story is better than a list of praise. Make sure it is suitable for grandparents.
Talk about the couple
Say something about the bride and the couple together: how the groom changed when he met her, or what you have seen of their relationship. Welcome her into the circle of friends.
Respect culture and faith
Many African weddings are strongly religious. A short blessing or Bible verse is often welcome. Acknowledge the families and the traditions that brought the couple together.
Language
If the audience is mixed, a few words in Twi, Ga, Ewe, Yoruba or Igbo, alongside English, can win the room. Do not attempt a language you cannot pronounce well.
Practise
Write the speech down, practise it aloud several times and time it. Bring notes on a card or phone. Do not improvise after drinking.
End with a toast
Ask the guests to stand and raise their glasses: “Please join me in a toast to Mr and Mrs Mensah.” Keep the toast simple, and hand the microphone back to the MC promptly so the programme can move on to the next item.
Things to avoid
Inside jokes nobody understands, long lists of names, reading from a phone without looking up, criticism of the couple or families, and anything about money or past relationships.
The best speeches make the groom look good and the families proud. If the grandmother laughs and nods, you have done your job.
