For generations, couples in Ghanaian and Nigerian churches repeated the traditional vows after the minister: for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer. Many still do. But more couples now add personal vows of their own.
Check with your church
Some churches allow personal vows; others prefer only the traditional words. Ask your minister early. Many allow personal vows at the reception or after the formal vows.
A simple structure
Start with a memory. A short line about when you met or knew this was the person.
Say what you love. One or two qualities, with a small example.
Make promises. Specific promises are more moving than general ones: “I promise to pray with you, to listen before I argue, and to always make your tea the way you like it.”
End with commitment. A closing line that ties it together: “Today I choose you, and I will keep choosing you.”
Keep it short
One to two minutes is enough. Long vows can become speeches, and guests will lose attention.
Keep it appropriate
Remember the audience: parents, elders, pastors and children. Avoid private jokes, references to past relationships or anything embarrassing.
Faith
For Christian couples, vows can include a Bible verse or a promise to grow in faith together. Popular passages include Ruth 1:16, “whither thou goest, I will go”, and 1 Corinthians 13 on love.
Write early
Start weeks before the wedding. Write a draft, leave it, then return to edit. Read it aloud to check the length and flow.
Practise
Practise reading your vows aloud several times. On the day, read from a card or a small booklet rather than your phone. Emotions can make it hard to remember words.
Examples of promises
“I promise to be your partner in prayer and in planning.” “I promise to tell you the truth, even when it is hard.” “I promise to honour your family as my own.” “I promise to laugh with you when things go wrong, and to hold your hand when they go very wrong.” Short, specific lines like these are easy to say and easy to remember.
Match lengths
Agree with your partner roughly how long your vows will be, so one person does not speak for five minutes while the other speaks for thirty seconds.
Language
Some couples say part of their vows in Twi, Yoruba, Igbo or Ewe, which can move older relatives deeply.
The traditional vows are beautiful because millions have said them. Personal vows are special because only one person could have written them.
