The video went viral for the wrong reasons. A man knelt in the middle of a busy mall, ring held high, while his girlfriend stood frozen, then walked away. Millions watched. Most proposals that go wrong do not end up online, but many could have been saved with a little more thought. Here are the mistakes couples mention most often.
1. Not talking about marriage first
A proposal should not be the first serious conversation about marriage. Couples who have already discussed children, money, faith, where to live and timing are far more likely to hear yes. A surprise about the moment is lovely; a surprise about the idea of marriage is risky.
2. Going public with a private person
Some people love a crowd. Others would be mortified to be watched by strangers or filmed for social media. Think honestly about your partner’s personality. A quiet proposal at home can mean more than a flash mob.
3. Ignoring family expectations
In many Ghanaian and Nigerian families, asking the parents or informing them is expected before or soon after the proposal. Skipping this can cause tension later. Know what your partner’s family values.
4. The wrong ring size
A ring that does not fit can be resized, but it can spoil the moment. Borrow a ring your partner already wears, ask a close friend or choose an adjustable setting until you can resize it.
5. Hiding the ring badly
Rings hidden in food or drinks have been swallowed or lost. Keep the ring safe in your pocket until the moment.
6. Bad timing
Avoid proposing during a stressful week, at someone else’s wedding or birthday, or in the middle of an argument. Choose a time when your partner can enjoy the moment.
7. Overplanning
An elaborate plan with many moving parts can go wrong in many ways: rain, traffic, a late photographer. Keep the core of the proposal simple, and have a backup if it is outdoors.
8. Forgetting to say anything
Nerves can make people go blank. Think about what you want to say, even if it is only a few sentences about why you love your partner and want to marry them. Those words are often what people remember most.
Bonus: photography
If you want photos, arrange a discreet photographer or a friend. But do not let filming take over the moment.
If the answer is not yes
Sometimes the answer is “not yet” or “no”. Respond with grace, not anger. Talk privately afterwards about what it means for your relationship.
The best proposals are rarely the biggest. They are the ones where the person asking clearly knew who they were asking.
