Nigerian weddings are famous for their size. Guest lists in the hundreds are normal, family members arrive in matching aso ebi, and the party can run from afternoon into the night. Behind the spectacle is a sequence of ceremonies that most Nigerian couples follow, adapted to the customs of their ethnic group and their faith.
The introduction
Most Nigerian weddings begin with the introduction, a meeting at which the groom’s family formally presents itself to the bride’s family. The families get to know each other, declare their intentions and agree on the next steps. It is often a smaller gathering, though some families now hold introductions as large as a wedding.
After the introduction, the bride’s family gives the groom’s family a list of items for the traditional wedding. The list varies widely between ethnic groups and families and may include drinks, cloth, food items, jewellery and money.
The traditional wedding
The traditional wedding is the customary marriage, and for many families it is the most important event. Its form depends on where the couple come from.
At a Yoruba engagement, the ceremony is often run by two professional coordinators, the alaga ijoko for the bride’s family and the alaga iduro for the groom’s family. The groom and his friends prostrate before the bride’s family, the bride enters in a procession, and the couple are presented with items including a Bible or Quran. The groom wears agbada and a fila; the bride wears aso oke with a gele.
At an Igbo traditional wedding, the best-known moment is the wine-carrying ceremony, known as igba nkwu. The bride searches through the crowd for her groom carrying a cup of palm wine, kneels and offers it to him. When he drinks, the marriage is publicly sealed.
Hausa weddings, in the largely Muslim north, follow Islamic rites. The sadaki, or dowry, is paid, the marriage is solemnised at the mosque, and celebrations include the kamu and a walima feast, often stretching over several days.
The white wedding
Christian couples often follow the traditional wedding with a white wedding in church. This involves the gown, the bridal train, vows and the exchange of rings. In Nigeria, a church wedding in a licensed church, or a registry wedding, also produces a marriage certificate under the Marriage Act, which many couples need for official purposes.
Some couples hold the traditional and white weddings on consecutive days. Others separate them by weeks or months, especially when families live in different cities or abroad.
The reception and the owambe
The reception follows the white wedding. An MC runs the programme, the couple dance in with their bridal train, and the evening includes the cake cutting, toasts, speeches and dancing. Guests spray money on the couple while they dance, and the music moves between Afrobeats, highlife, juju, fuji and gospel.
The word owambe, from Yoruba, describes the big Nigerian party culture that weddings are part of: lavish outfits, live bands, large crowds and a lot of food. Jollof rice, fried rice, pounded yam and soups, small chops and suya are staples.
Aso ebi and what guests wear
Aso ebi is the practice of family and friends wearing the same fabric, chosen by the couple or their families. Guests buy the fabric and sew it in their own style, so the room is full of the same colours in many different designs. It makes for striking photographs and shows who belongs to which side.
Guests who do not buy aso ebi should dress formally, in traditional or Western clothes. Bring cash for spraying, expect a long day and eat when the food comes: at a Nigerian wedding, the serving staff may not come back round.
