A little girl scattering petals, a small boy carefully carrying the rings: children add charm to a wedding. They also add unpredictability. With some planning, they can shine without stress.
Choosing the children
Flower girls and page boys are usually between three and eight years old. Very young children may freeze or run off; older children may feel too grown up. Choose children who are comfortable in crowds.
How many?
One or two of each is often enough. Many children together can be hard to manage, though a group can also give shy children confidence.
Talk to the parents
Ask parents before telling the children. Discuss costs, outfits, schedules and who will look after the children on the day.
Outfits
Choose comfortable outfits that match your colours. Avoid scratchy fabrics, heavy headpieces and tight shoes. In traditional ceremonies, small kente, aso oke or matching family cloth looks wonderful.
The ring bearer
Many couples give the ring bearer a pillow with fake rings, while the best man keeps the real ones. It removes the risk of lost rings.
Rehearse
Include the children in the rehearsal. Walk the aisle with them and show them where to stand afterwards, ideally next to a parent.
Timing
Children tire quickly. Keep their role short, and let them sit with their parents after the processional. Plan photos with children early in the day.
Snacks and breaks
Have water, snacks and a quiet space ready. A hungry or tired child is more likely to cry during the vows.
If things go wrong
If a child refuses to walk or bursts into tears, let it go. Guests will smile. Have a parent ready to step in, and never force a frightened child down the aisle.
Thank them
Give the children a small gift, such as a toy, book or special treat, to thank them for their role.
Other roles for children
Children who are too old or too shy for the aisle can still take part: handing out programmes, helping with the guest book or carrying a sign announcing the bride. Giving every child in the family a small job helps them feel included.
Perfectly imperfect
Some of the most loved wedding photos show a flower girl sitting in the aisle or a page boy waving at the camera. Children rarely do things exactly as planned, and that is often what makes the moment memorable.
