Some couples cannot imagine a wedding without children dancing around the reception. Others want an evening for adults only. Both are valid choices. What matters is deciding early, explaining clearly and planning well.
The case for including children
In many Ghanaian and Nigerian families, weddings are community events, and children are part of the celebration. Including them can make it easier for parents to attend.
The case for adults only
Some couples choose an adults-only wedding to manage costs, keep the ceremony quiet or suit a formal venue. That is a reasonable choice.
Middle options
You could invite only close family children, only the flower girls and page boys, or allow children at the ceremony but not the reception.
Be clear on the invitation
Address invitations to the exact people invited. If the wedding is adults only, a polite line such as “We respectfully request an adults-only celebration” can help.
Explain kindly
Some relatives may be upset. Explain your reasons calmly, and ask your parents to support the decision when questioned.
Be consistent
If you choose adults only, apply the rule fairly, apart from children in the bridal party. Exceptions for some can cause hurt feelings.
If children are invited
Include them in your headcount for food and seats. Children’s portions may cost less, so ask your caterer.
A kids’ table
A separate table with colouring books, crayons and simple games can keep children busy during speeches.
Hire a minder
For large numbers, some couples hire a child minder or ask a trusted family member to supervise children in a separate area.
Safety first
Check the venue for pools, stairs, busy roads or open generators. Keep children away from candles, cables and the cake table.
Food that children like
Ask your caterer for some simple dishes children enjoy, such as jollof, fried rice, chicken, sausages and fruit.
Timing
Young children get tired. If the reception runs late, parents may leave early, so schedule important moments, like the cake cutting, before it gets too late.
Children in the bridal train
Flower girls and page boys need a parent or helper close by. Give them a short rehearsal, comfortable shoes and a snack before the ceremony so they are not hungry or cranky while walking.
A quiet corner
A small room or shaded spot with mats and cushions gives tired children somewhere to rest. Parents can stay longer when their little ones have a place to nap.
Your day, your choice
There is no perfect answer. Whatever you decide, explain it with kindness and plan well, and most guests will understand.
