The room is full of relatives in kente and adinkra cloth, sitting in two groups facing each other. Spokespeople for each family exchange formal greetings and proverbs. Bottles of schnapps, cloth, jewellery and envelopes are presented one by one and checked against a list. This is an Asante traditional marriage, the ceremony that makes a couple husband and wife in the eyes of their families.
The knocking and the list
Among the Asante and other Akan groups, marriage is seen as a union between two families rather than a private matter between two people. The traditional ceremony is where this agreement is made in public. The process begins with the knocking ceremony, known as kokooko. The man’s family visits the woman’s family to announce their interest and ask for permission to proceed. Drinks and money are presented.
The woman’s family then gives the man’s family a list of items required for the marriage. Lists vary by family but often include cloth, jewellery, drinks, a Bible, shoes and money.
Tiri nsa and presenting the bride
The head drink, or tiri nsa, is a key part of the ceremony. Its acceptance by the woman’s family is seen as sealing the marriage under customary law. Each family appoints a spokesperson, often an okyeame or respected elder, to speak on its behalf. They negotiate, joke and ensure the proper steps are followed. In many ceremonies, the woman’s family playfully presents other women first before bringing out the real bride. Once she appears, she is asked publicly whether she accepts the marriage.
Couples often wear matching kente, the famous woven cloth associated with the Asante. Families may choose colours and patterns with special meanings.
Prayers, registration and celebration
Elders pour libation or pray, depending on the family’s faith, and offer advice to the couple. Customary marriages can be registered with the local authority to make them legally recognised. After the formalities, food, drinks and music follow, with highlife and dancing. Many lists include items for the bride’s mother, such as cloth and money, in recognition of her role in raising her daughter. Families treat these gifts with particular seriousness.
The bottles of schnapps on the table are counted carefully. Once the tiri nsa is accepted, the counting stops and the dancing begins.
