He had planned the dinner, booked the photographer and spoken to her father. There was just one problem: he had no idea what size ring she wore. Many people planning a surprise proposal hit the same wall. Asking directly could ruin the surprise, but guessing wrong can mean a ring that slips off or will not fit over the knuckle. With a little cunning, you can find the right size without your partner suspecting a thing.
Borrowing or tracing a ring
The most reliable method is to borrow a ring your partner wears on her ring finger, or on the same finger of the other hand. Take it to a jeweller, who can measure it in minutes. Return it before she notices it is missing. If you cannot take the ring out of the house, trace the inside circle on paper, or press it into a bar of soap or a piece of clay. A jeweller can estimate the size from the impression.
Asking friends and measuring
Close friends, sisters or her mother may know her size, or can find out casually. Some friends invent shopping trips to try on rings “for fun”.
If she does not wear rings on her ring finger, a ring from her middle finger can give a starting point, though it will usually be slightly larger. Some people wrap a thin piece of string around their partner’s finger while she sleeps. It is risky and less accurate, but it has worked for many.
Hand shape and resizing
Fingers swell in heat and shrink in cold. In hot climates such as Ghana and Nigeria, it is better to choose a size that fits comfortably in warm weather. A ring that is a little too big can be resized easily after the proposal. A ring that is too small may not go over the knuckle at the big moment.
Ask the jeweller before buying whether the ring can be resized and how much it costs. Some designs, such as eternity bands, are hard to resize.
Temporary rings and keeping the secret
Some people propose with a simple placeholder ring and then choose the final ring together. Tell as few people as possible. News travels quickly in families. If the ring does not fit, laugh about it and get it resized. The answer matters more than the size. A ring that fits perfectly is a lovely detail. But many happy couples remember the ring that slipped on halfway, and the yes that came anyway.
