The engagement list arrives, and the groom’s family reads it in silence. Drinks, cloth, jewellery, a Bible, cash for the bride’s mother, father and brothers. In Ghanaian custom, the groom’s side carries most of the cost of the traditional marriage. Who pays for the rest of the wedding is less settled, and it causes many quiet arguments.
The engagement
For the customary marriage, the groom’s family is expected to provide the items on the list given by the bride’s family, along with drinks and gifts for the ceremony. The bride’s family usually hosts the event at their home or a venue and often provides food for guests. Practices vary by ethnic group and family.
The white wedding
For the church or civil wedding and reception, there is no single rule. In the past, families often shared costs or relatives contributed. Today, many couples, especially those working in Accra or abroad, pay for most of the wedding themselves.
Family contributions
Parents and relatives may offer to pay for specific items: the cake, the venue, the bride’s gown, the drinks. Some families contribute money collectively through family meetings. Accepting help can mean accepting opinions, so agree on what each contribution covers.
The guest list connection
Whoever pays often expects a say in the guest list. If parents are funding much of the reception, they may want to invite church members, colleagues and distant relatives. Discuss this early so the budget and guest numbers stay realistic.
Have the conversation
Sit down with both families early in planning. Explain your budget and ask who wishes to contribute. Be clear about what you can afford. It is easier to have an awkward conversation in the first month than a fight in the last week.
Bridal party and guests
Bridesmaids and groomsmen often pay for their own outfits, especially when the fabric is part of the family cloth or aso ebi. Guests pay for their own outfits and travel. Couples should be mindful of the costs they ask friends to carry.
Gifts and money from guests
Gifts and cash given by guests can offset some costs, but couples should not plan their budget around them. Amounts vary, and gifts may be in kind rather than money.
Write it down
Record who has agreed to pay for what in your budget spreadsheet. Memories differ, especially under stress.
Custom gives the engagement a clear order. The rest of the wedding depends on honest talk between two families who are about to become one.
