Being asked to be chief bridesmaid is an honour. It is also a job, and a busy one.
In Ghanaian and Nigerian weddings, the chief bridesmaid, or maid of honour, is the bride’s right hand from the planning months to the final dance.
Before the wedding
The chief bridesmaid helps the bride with decisions, attends dress fittings and offers honest advice. She usually coordinates the other bridesmaids: their outfits, fittings, payments and rehearsals.
She often organises or co-organises the bridal shower and helps the bride keep track of tasks and deadlines.
Managing the bridesmaids
Bridesmaids’ outfits, hair and make-up need planning. The chief bridesmaid makes sure everyone knows what to wear, when to arrive and what they are paying for. She keeps a group chat running and handles disagreements before they reach the bride.
The wedding morning
On the day, the chief bridesmaid is with the bride from early morning. She keeps the timeline on track, makes sure the bride eats and drinks water, and keeps unnecessary visitors out of the room.
She carries or assigns the emergency kit: safety pins, needle and thread, plasters, tissues, painkillers, a phone charger and snacks.
At the ceremony
She helps the bride with her dress and veil, holds the bouquet during the vows and makes sure the rings are where they need to be if the best man is not handling them.
At the reception
She helps the bride with outfit changes, which are common at West African receptions, and makes sure she has time to rest and eat. She may give a short speech or lead the bridesmaids’ dance.
The traditional ceremony
At the traditional wedding, the chief bridesmaid often helps the bride dress in her kente or lace, keeps her accessories ready and waits with her until the family calls her out.
Money
Bridesmaids often pay for their own outfits, and costs can be high. A good chief bridesmaid helps the bride be realistic about what she asks of friends, and speaks up for bridesmaids who are struggling.
Choosing one
Brides should choose someone reliable, calm and honest, even if that is someone other than their closest friend. The right chief bridesmaid will tell you when your plan is unrealistic and quietly fix problems you never hear about.
The quiet reward
The best chief bridesmaids are the ones nobody notices, because nothing went wrong. The bride notices, and she remembers it for years.
