Before many Ghanaian churches will bless a wedding, the couple must sit through weeks of counselling with a pastor or trained counsellor. Some couples see it as a hurdle. Many married people say it was the most useful part of their wedding preparation.
Premarital counselling, sometimes called marriage preparation or “counselling class”, is common in Christian churches across Ghana and Nigeria. The format differs by church: some run group classes over several weeks, others arrange one-on-one sessions with a pastor and spouse. Most cover similar ground.
What it covers
Faith. How the couple will practise their faith together, attend church, pray and raise children.
Communication. How to listen, express needs, avoid hurtful patterns and talk about difficult subjects.
Money. Budgets, debts, savings, who earns what, who pays for what, and support for extended family. Money is one of the most common sources of conflict in marriage, and counsellors encourage full honesty.
Family. Relationships with parents and in-laws, boundaries, and expectations from both families.
Sex and intimacy. Many churches discuss intimacy frankly, including expectations and health.
Children. Whether to have children, how many, when, and how to raise them.
Conflict. How to argue fairly, apologise, forgive and seek help.
Roles and expectations. Who does what at home, career plans and where the couple will live.
Medical checks
Many churches and counsellors also encourage or require couples to take medical tests before the wedding, including genotype testing for sickle cell traits, blood group compatibility, and tests for HIV and other infections. Sickle cell disease is common in West Africa, and couples who both carry the trait have a significant chance of having a child with the disease. Knowing in advance allows couples to make informed decisions.
How to get the most from it
- Start early. Begin months before the wedding, not weeks.
- Be honest. Counselling works only if both people speak openly.
- Do the homework. Many programmes include questionnaires and discussions to have at home.
- Raise hard topics. Past relationships, debts, health issues and family pressures are better discussed now.
- Keep going after the wedding. Some couples continue meeting a mentor couple in the first years of marriage.
For couples not marrying in church
Couples who marry in a court or customary ceremony can still seek counselling from a trusted mentor couple, a counsellor or a religious leader. The questions are the same, whatever the venue.
The wedding lasts a day. The conversations in counselling are about the years that come after it, which is why many couples wish they had taken them more seriously.
