A few weeks before a Ghanaian traditional wedding, the groom’s family receives a list. What is on it can decide the budget for the whole wedding.
The engagement list, given by the bride’s family after the knocking ceremony, sets out what the groom’s family must present at the traditional marriage. Lists differ widely between families, towns and ethnic groups, and many families today shorten them. But certain items appear on most lists, especially in Akan traditions, and each one carries meaning.
Drinks
Drinks are almost always on the list: schnapps or gin for libation and for the elders, plus wine, soft drinks and sometimes beer for the family. Drinks are presented formally and shared, and some are used to pour libation to the ancestors, asking for their blessing on the marriage.
The bride price
The bride price, a sum of money for the bride’s family, is usually modest and symbolic in many Ghanaian traditions. It is not payment for a person. It signifies that the groom’s family values the bride and accepts responsibility. Some families return part of it as a gesture of goodwill.
Items for the bride
The bride often receives cloth, frequently several pieces of wax print, kente or other fabrics; jewellery, including rings, necklaces and sometimes beads; shoes and bags; and a suitcase or trunk to hold them. The suitcase symbolises the bride’s new household and the groom’s commitment to providing for her.
A Bible, or a Quran for Muslim families, is common, representing the spiritual foundation of the marriage. Many lists also include an engagement ring.
Items for the family
The bride’s mother often receives cloth and money as appreciation for raising her daughter. The father may receive cloth, drinks or money. Some lists include items for the bride’s brothers, sisters or other relatives, sometimes called money for the “brothers” in recognition of their role in protecting their sister.
Regional differences
Ewe, Ga, Fante, Asante, northern and other traditions each have their own items and customs. Some include foodstuffs or livestock; others ask for specific cloth. That is why couples are advised to get the list early and ask questions through a trusted family member rather than guessing.
Negotiating kindly
Lists can be long and expensive, and couples sometimes feel pressure. Families can often be approached, respectfully and through elders, to adjust items. Many parents today prefer a short list, recognising that the couple’s future matters more than a large display.
Presenting the items
On the day, the items are presented one by one by members of the groom’s family, often with humour and teasing from the bride’s family, who may inspect them and demand small “fines” for anything missing. Once accepted, the marriage is concluded under customary law.
The list may be written on a single sheet of paper. By the time every item has been presented, two families have agreed to become one.
